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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Bridget's Blunder!

Its difficult at the moment to share much of what is happening as such a lot of what I am doing is checking and rechecking and measuring and calculating so I thought I would share this little poem with you which I found at the back of a 1940s pattern booklet, promoting the famous 'Patonised' wool of the time, and its called 'Bridget's Blunder'


Bridget's Blunder

My story tells of Bridget Whitting
Who loved both plain and fancy knitting,
But though she worked by day and night
Her efforts seldom turned out right.
Friends would say, "Cor! That jumper's posh!"
But when she'd given it a wash,
Instead of snugly fitting Bridget
It seemed more suited to a midget.
One day, when off to see her draper
She saw announced inside her paper
A brand-new wool; was she elated!
For bold as brass the maker stated:-
"This wool's the best that can be got,
It will not shrink, no matter what!"
So Bridget told her woolshop flat,
"I'll have a basinful of that."
And hurried home with glowing cheeks,
But couponless for weeks and weeks.
Soon willing Labour bore its fruit -
A salmon-pinky jumpersuit,
Which Bridget wore with pride o'er-weening
Till, solied and creased, it needed cleaning.
Said B., "It won't take half a wink,
the makers say it cannot shrink."
(But they forgot to say - the wretches! -
That wool made shrinkless sometimes stretches).
'Twas washed; the outcome nearly killed her,
It went three times round Aunt Matilda!
And looked in shade like Aunt Euphemia
Who suffers from acute anaemia.
"That's finished it," wept B., "I'm quitting,
I'm through for good and all with knitting;
I'll write at once to my MP,
about this dire clamity."
Her tale was penned 'midst groans and hisses,
- The MP showed it to his Mrs.
Who said, "That girl should be advised
to stick to wool that's Patonised,
Which, used with reasonable care
Will wash and wash, and wear and wear;
Trust P&B, the leading spinners
Only to turn out certain winners.
Just tell her she's a chump to quit
When there's such lovely wool to knit."
B. took the tip, no longer weeps;
that MP's in his seat for keeps!


I hope you enjoyed Bridget's tale. 

for now
Ruby xx

9 comments :

Tanya said...

Really enjoyed the poem. Made me feel very sentimental. The P&B in the poem refers to Paton and Baldwin and their huge vast spinning mill buildings are in the town where I live, sadly spinning no longer. The mill once covered acres and acres and employed half the Launceston population and surrounds. I regularly went to the mill shop to buy bags and bags of wool and have it stored in great bins still! It was an end of an era when that place closed down.

Just call me Ruby said...

Oh how sad. It is such a shame that mills stand empty particularly when knitting is having such a revival. Is it the Launceston, Tasmania mill you are referring too? I have a photo of it I can share if it is.

Ruby x

Susie Hewer said...

Hi Susan,

Great poem! I still have some P&B embroidery wool.

Guess what? I'm coming back up North in October to do the Liverpool marathon - can't wait to see how things have changed.

Susie
x

sweet jane. said...

Ha! Thanks for posting this! As a Bridget myself (in spirit, not name) I found it quite funny.
xo

noblinknits said...

thanks, that's a fun poem

KnittingPony said...

Hehe! I love that little poem. Thanks for sharing. So many things can sadly go a bit wrong with one's knitting :S

Shearer's Girl said...

Thank you for the poem, it's certainly entertaining! What a good idea for a post.

Valerie said...

This is wonderful.

I wonder has anyone links to other poems that were in the same series? I remember one called "Three weaknesses of Anna Rees" but I can't recall it all now.

The weaknesses, in case you're interested were knitting, sleep and toasted cheese. The theme of the poem was also to advise on the perils of washing wool the wrong way - but I think it Anna's case the garment shrank.

Pure nostalgia - Thank you.

Just call me Ruby said...

Hi Valerie,

I shall do my best to track it down. I may well have it somewhere but not have spotted it!

Ruby xx